I sold out to The Man yesterday.

Or, more precisely, I sold out to the SUV-driving Christian soccer mom. I suck.

My NYC publisher asked me to take a link to my shop off the About page of my book/knitting site because some big catalog (who would buy lots and lots of my books) said it wasn’t child-friendly.

Pray, what offended thee, my dears? The all-time bestsellers list in the corner, including The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own panties and Happy Fucking Holidays cross-stitch kits, which I probably can’t keep in stock because all your children grow up and buy them as a rebellion against your lameness? Or is it the gorgeous front page models, some of whom have (gasp!) tattoos and (shock!) piercings? (I have it on good authority they may also enjoy premarital sex, smoking and cussing! Look out! The world might end!)

Just a few of my models…aren’t they pretty?

Never mind that any semi-computer-literate kid could Google me and probably come up with much, much worse than a pair of politically-themed panties or a cross-stitch kit that sums up the opinion of most sane people when it comes to this time of year.

So I took the link down, hating myself the entire time. If I was Stephen King, I’d’ve told them to stick it. But I’m not. Yet. These are probably the same morons who think Debbie Stoller’s (most bestsellingest knitting book in the history of recent publishing) is evil because it’s called Stitch ‘n Bitch. And, even worse, she runs a magazine called Bust. (Which of course can mean boobies! And boobies are baaaaaad!)

What’s next? On that same page, in the biographical info about some of my contributors, we make mention of their (same-sex) partners. Should I have to take that down, too? Might set a bad example. Might create an entire generation of knittin’ lesbians just by giving credit to the (lovely, I might add) people who share their lives with the designers who made the book what it is. That would be where I draw the line, by the way. If I can make mention of my boyfriend, if some of the others can reference their husbands and children…well, I’ll be damned if I’ll remove mentions of domestic partners. The entire page would come down first.

And on that bitter, cranky note, might I add that I will have a table at Bazaar Bizarre Boston this weekend? Look for the anezka handmade table on your guide, #34. I’ll be signing copies of my book in addition to selling other fantastic stuff, such as the items referenced above.

When you buy from anezka handmade, you make the Baby Jesus cry.

(That should be our new tagline, no?)

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